15 Essential Promises a Father Must Give His Daughter

I am determined to do what it takes to be a successful father.

I am a steward of my child’s life, and I will be intentional in cultivating her character and guide her into godliness, maturity, humility, and wisdom.

It’s a beautiful thing for a woman to be humble and also wise, and Lord willing, this will be her reality.

My promises to guide her into maturity in Christ, so as the Lord gives me the grace to do so:

My promises to guide my daughter into maturity in Christ, (as long as God gives me the grace to do so):

1. I promise to protect you from men who want to harm you.

Not everyone you meet has your best interest. Many people will want to take advantage of you and do harmful things to you. I will help you discern who to bring close, who to keep at a distance, and to whom to stay away. I will train you to protect yourself from men who want to take advantage of you, and I will help you be on high-alert against predators. You will not be naïve, I promise.

2. I Promise to be your example of a good, godly man, and future husband.

I will show you what a godly man looks like by how I lead our family and how I treat you. I will show you what true love is by sacrificially giving my time and energy to you, and I will show you that a rich and fulfilling life means inviting the presence of God into our hearts and our home.

I will give you the wisdom to understand what characteristics to look for in a husband.  He will lead you the rest of your life, but for now, I will lead you and be the example of a loving and caring man of God. 

3. I promise to teach you the knowledge and wisdom of God.

You will know and understand the riches and value of God’s Word, and I will be reading and discussing it throughout your entire life. God’s word is an essential aspect of life to understand, and I promise I will prioritize your learning in this. I will teach you what success means to God, and I will make sure that you don’t waste your life by climbing ladders that don’t matter, like so many do, like I did.

I will teach you a better way to make decisions, and I will give you the best resources so that one day you will not need me, and you will be rich in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord.

4. I promise to value our relationship over my work.

It’s very tempting for a man to put his work over his family, but I promise I will not do this. No one gets to the end of their life and says, “I wish I would have spent more time at work.” No, at the end of our lives, we will always wish we would have spent more time with those whom we love. I promise I will not compromise our relationship for the sake of my work.

5. I promise to discipline you with love, not anger.

Nothing constructive happens when emotions are soaring, so my plan in your discipline is to connect with you emotionally, and redirect your behavior.

I will speak to you simply and plainly so that you will understand. I will embrace your emotions and be patient with you. I will talk with you, not at you. I will emphasize the positives and minimize the negatives.

I will make discipline a learning moment to build your character and to help guide you for life’s hardest obstacles.

6. I promise to provide for your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

As the leader of our family, I promise to fulfill my obligation (and joy) to provide your essential needs.

I will work hard to make sure you have all of the material things you need in life.

I will work hard to connect with you emotionally and be a voice of wisdom for you in times of distress.

I will work hard to pray with you, to help you get into God’s Word, and guide you into a relationship with God by providing an environment that allows His presence to enter our hearts and home.

7. I promise to recognize your talents and challenge you to build your potential.

As you grow, I will be watchful to recognize your talents and interests, and as I see your skills, I will involve myself to help you grow in these areas. I don’t want you to waste your potential, so I will make sure that you have everything you need to grow in your areas of passion. It’s healthy for men and women to be active in sports, music, reading, and other things, so it will be my honor to guide you in these areas. 

8. I promise to give you the best answers to life's most important questions.

I will teach you who created this world, and I will teach you about who we are as humans and why we are here. I will teach you about the true meaning of success, the true meaning of love, and the true meaning of life. I will teach you about the reality of death and the hope we have to overcome it.

I will ensure that you understand your identity and future. 

9. I promise to accept and love you just as you are.

I will not judge you for things you cannot change. I know that you will fail, and when you do, I will be there to offer grace and love. You can always trust that I will embrace you just as you are, and there is nothing that will stand in the way of my love for you.

10. I promise to respect your emotions and boundaries.

I won’t force you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing, and I will try my best to be a voice of healing and encouragement in times of stress or anger. If you need space, I’ll give you space. I want to guide you through your emotions and help you to understand them so you can control them without them controlling you. 

11. I promise to teach you how to be wise with your money and appreciate what you have.

Everything revolves around money. Money can grip our hearts and control us if we are not careful. My promise to you is that you will have mastery over your money by becoming a wise steward of what God has given you.

We must always remember that everything we have is a gift, and that nothing we have is ours, but God’s. We must never forget that we don’t deserve anything we have, and that everything we do have is God’s grace in our lives.

12. I promise to raise you to be humble, wise, and godly.

Of all the virtues of life, humility, wisdom, and godliness are the greatest. From these will flow the love, grace, and discernment needed to deal with others and yourself. These virtues will protect your relationships, including your relationship with God. They are a guide for decision-making and major life-choices. They are unbeatable, and when exercised, will always be successful under every circumstance.

13. I promise to remind you how thankful and proud I am of you.

I know the importance of affirming words, and I promise that I will always remind you that I am thankful, proud, and supportive.

You will hear me speak words of love and encouragement to you often, and there will be no doubt in your mind that I am thankful and excited to have you in my life.

14. I promise I will fail you, and when I do, I promise to ask for your forgiveness.

I will say and do things that I regret because I’m a sinful man in desperate need of grace. I will not love you perfectly as I wish to, and I will not be the perfect father as I want to be. I promise I will ask for your forgiveness when I fail you, and I will show you the gospel in my failures by how I ask for forgiveness.

No matter how badly I want to be the perfect father for you, I can’t be. We all need grace, and I will teach you this even in, especially in my failures.

15. I promise I will leave you, but it doesn't have to be forever.

Everyone dies, sweetheart. Your daddy won’t always be here with you, and for a time, you’ll have to live without me. There’s nothing we can do to stop it. It’s best to acknowledge it and live in light of death’s reality. So then consider this deeply- if when we die, we don’t live again, then nothing in this world matters.

What is most valuable? Eternal life is supremely valuable, and whatever we must do to have it. Whoever we must know that gives it, that is the most important person to us. I promise I will leave you, but it doesn’t have to be forever.

We can trust Jesus to bring us together again. He is the most important man in your life.

God, Father of Promises

I am a broken and sinful father who breaks promises, but there is a Father in heaven who does not. His immutability will not allow him to break his promises, and therefore we can trust Him to be entirely faithful to us. Throughout history, God’s people have been faithless to Him, but still faithful He remains, longsuffering with them to ensure the maximum benefit of his grace.

God has given his people a promise that a Savior will come who will have an everlasting kingdom. This is the promise that we have in Christ- a life and a hope that exists beyond our fate of the grave.

There is inevitable death that comes to all of us, but God promises that in His son whom He raised from the dead will give us life eternal if we give our lives to him now.

These are His promises, and this is my hope.

My Hope

My greatest hope is that my daughter understands the importance of eternal life, and the complete and utter vanity of living a life neglecting its reality. If we don’t live forever, then, in the end, nothing we do matters. But if there is an eternal aspect to our humanity, then all of a sudden, this must be the most critical aspect of our lives.

And now every bit of time and energy we put toward it will yield the highest return on our investment. It’s in these investments we are putting our time and energy into the imperishable. This is how we store our treasures in heaven that will never fade. This is wisdom and the most significant way to live our lives- in light of eternity.

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