God uses different people and circumstances in our lives to expose our sinful nature, but He does it to refine and sanctify us. (If we follow the convictions He gives us.) Although many people expose my sinfulness, no one does it better than my flesh and blood.
My daughter came along and exposed (and is still exposing) so much sin in my life. She only slept a few hours a night, so that meant that my wife and I only slept a few hours a night.
Exhausted, my wife and I began to argue like we never had before. We started to say things that we never had. There were so many decisions that had to be made that we had to agree on, and so many times, we found ourselves at odds with each other.
Two exhausted sinners only create a formula for destruction. The gloves came off, and we were fighting for the first time in our marriage.
My daughter also exposed how controlling I am and how angry I can get. I had no idea how much pride was inside of me, and it all erupted when she started testing me.
God was showing me something. It’s not my wife or daughter’s fault, or lack of sleep that made me angry. It was me. I’m sinful and selfish, and my sin was there the entire time. My truest colors came out as my body gave in to the exhaustion, and as her behavior tested me.
Now, God is teaching me to guide my daughter with love instead of trying to control her out of anger or frustration. I’m ashamed of how I’ve dealt with her, and I’ve asked for her forgiveness several times.
I know this is something I’ll have to do in the future (I’m sure a lot), and I’m hoping that it will be a way for her to understand that we all need forgiveness, not only from ourselves but also from God.
The beautiful thing about repentance is that by submitting to God and turning from sin, God allows you to become someone who experiences healing and transformation.
God brings about maturity in our lives through our repentance. I lose battles with my daughter, but I don’t continue to lose the same ones. When we fail, and we will, we must learn and grow wiser from our failures and continue to mature in Christ, as this is God’s plan for us as His children.