Men: Be Intentional With Leading Your Family

***Disclaimer & confession at the bottom***

For the men:

Who ultimately takes responsibility for the win or loss of a game?
The coach.

Who ultimately takes responsibility for the win or loss of a battle?
The General.

Who ultimately takes responsibility for the success or failure of a business?
The owner.

Like that, the Husband/Father bears the ultimate responsibility to lead his family by creating an environment for his wife and children to thrive under God.

In other words, if you are a husband and a father, then you are the Pastor of a little flock called “family.”

The wisdom, guidance, and influence of godliness your family receives are all primarily found in the home – under your leadership.

You are leading your family in a direction. The question is, in which direction are you leading them?

Like a gardener who tills the soil and plants and waters the seeds, you must nurture your family’s relationship with God.

Lord willing, God will reap a harvest in the hearts of your wife and children.

5 Critical Areas Of Leadership:

1. Read (and learn) your Bible, and read with your family often.

Opening the Bible and letting God’s truth wash over your family will shape their lives (and yours) by anchoring you all to the humbling truth of God’s powerful and influential word.

We are assaulted by hundreds of voices (tv, music, politics, social media) claiming to define reality. But the primary voice of influence over your family must be God’s own word.

Speak God’s word over your family by regularly reading the Bible with them.

2. Pray often, and often pray with your family.

Regular rhythms of prayer safeguard the family. And initiating prayer is a critical responsibility.

By leading our families in prayer, we are ushering them into God’s presence.

It’s our role to provide an environment where our families can thrive under God, and creating an atmosphere of prayer drastically helps accomplish this.

3. Attending and Serving in a local church

Attending church is a no-brainer. But it is equally important to serve in some capacity in the church, at a nonprofit, or leading a small group or bible study.

Serving others is a powerful way to cultivate an others-focused mentality. Life is not (totally) about us. It’s about how we love (and serve) God and others.

Mission trips are a powerful way to get a healthy, humility-shaping perspective on reality.

4. Listen to quality Christian music and play it often with your family.

We are all profoundly shaped by music. Music has the power to interpret the world around us.

Fortunately, music can also stir our affections for Christ and act as the vehicle for worship.

Here are a two tips on how to worship with your family:

A. YouTube. Search and watch your favorite worship songs as a family.
(We do this all the time. It’s M-A-G-I-C)

B. Download Spotify and get busy listening to great Christian playlists.
Don’t know where to look? Ask your worship leader for a playlist of songs.

The goal is for your family to love and enjoy quality worship music that orients their hearts toward Christ.

We have some of the richest moments in our house listening to worship music as a family.

5. Lead by example, and your family will surely follow (and respect you for it).

All of your private, seemingly inconsequential decisions deeply matter when it comes to leading your family. 

How? Because those private decision shape your character, which in turn pours out into your leadership.

Your family needs you to be a mature, disciplined, selfless, life-giving presence who will manage the oversight and overall climate of the family’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. 

4 key moments to read Scripture and/or pray with your family (in the daily grind).

1. In the morning before school.

Try praying with your family before you leave for work.

2. After dinner at the dinner table.

Have a bible study after dinner. (Literally, at the dinner table.)

3. After dinner in the living room.

Watch worship songs on YouTube and worship God with your family, and do a bible study.

4. Before bed.

Read and pray a little each night to keep those healthy disciplines ingrained in your family’s daily rhythms.

10 Self Reflection Questions:

1. Do I love and serve my wife by putting her needs above my own?
2. Do I pray with my family daily?
3. Do I lead as a Christ-like example for my family?
4. Do I disciple my children by leading them to honor and serve Jesus?
5. Do I prioritize quality time with my family over my own interests or hobbies?
6. Do I lead and initiate, or am I coasting?
7. Do I make excuses for my actions or take 100% responsibility?
8. Do I know and understand God’s will for my life?
9. Am I too distracted by electronics or media?
10. Am I willing to admit my weak areas, and work towards changing?

No other man on earth can fulfill the husband role for your wife.

That’s your responsibility, alone.

No other man on earth can fulfill the father role to your children.

That’s your responsibility, alone.

The call to lead is a call to step up and initiate. As the family leader, you’re not meant to drift, stand by, or coast.

You are meant to step out and lead your family to create an environment where they can thrive under Christ.

Men, it all starts with you.

The 10 reflection questions are from MD5, a Christ-centered organization focused on male leadership. For more information, visit

Authentic Manhood –
Men’s Discipleship 5 –

Disclaimer & Confession
I am speaking to myself in my writings.

I, like most every man who is leading a family, am in dire need of someone to challenge me to step up and take action in my own faith and family. 

I am certainly not claiming to be the ideal leader, and thus, speaking into the lives of men who are less than me. 

If anything, I consider my writings a way of doing ministry and reminding myself how I should live out my own life.

In addition, the featured image for this article is too clean.

When my family reads our Bibles together and we experience times of worship in our home, it can look a lot more disorganized and chaotic. 

That’s life.

But we would do well to lead through the chaos and worship still.